The UPS driver, clad in his short pants and clunky boots, marched in: 'Hey, can you tell me where Checkerz is at?' he asked round the lump of tobacco bulging in his lower lip.
'I have no idea,' I told him with a shrug. 'I thought Checkerz was on the other end of town.'
'The address is sixty-two-something West Jefferson.'
'I really don't know.'
'Would it be across the road, here, you think?'
'I have no idea.'
'I mean the address here is fifty-nine-something...'
'Yeah...'
'So it would have to be just down thataway.'
'Okay. I guess so.'
'You think it's over where they're doing that construction by the tanning place?'
'I have no idea. I don't know what tanning place you're talking about.'
'Over there by where they're doing that construction across the way.'
'Whatever. I don't know.'
'Would it be over there, you think?'
'I don't know. I don't even know what Checkerz is.'
'They're like a bar or something, aren't they?'
'I don't know, man!'
'So, you think they'd be just down the road here?'
'I guess so.'
'The address on the box is something like sixty-two-hundred something.'
'Okay.'
'But I don't see them over there.'
'Sorry.'
'They'd have to be in the next block, though, if this here is the fifty-nine-hundred block, though.'
'I guess so. Yeah.'
'But I don't see them over there.'
'Sorry.'
'Maybe they're over by the book store, y'think?'
'Jesus! Man, I hate to be rude but you've asked me this like ten times and I'm still going to tell you the same thing - I. Don't. Know.'
'You gotta phone book?'
'Sure.' I pulled the book out from under the counter.
'Maybe they're in the phone book, if you've got one.'
'Right there.'
Flipping through the yellow pages: 'It's just that they should be right around here somewhere...'
'Mm-hm...'
'You think they'd be under restaurants or something?'
'Look, I have absolutely no clue what Checkerz is, so I can't even begin to answer that question.'
'Maybe they're under like "Pizza" or something...'
I grabbed the second copy of the phone book and went to the white pages: 'Maybe...'
'I mean they sell pizza, I think. Is there a section in here for bars?'
I found the listing, grabbed the phone and dialled: 'Probably...'
'Would they call them "bars," y'think?'
'Hi,' I said to the woman from Checkerz who answered the phone. 'Would you happen to have a second location on West Jefferson? Okay, great. That's all I needed to know. Thanks!' Turning back to the UPS driver: 'Checkerz has one location on Till Road - nowhere near here.'
'Really?'
'That's what the lady told me. I don't think she had any reason to lie.''
'Well I wonder if they got the wrong address on the package?'
'It's very possible.'
'Maybe they didn't mean Checkerz, y'think?'
Walking away from him: 'Maybe you should look at the package again...'
'Cause they've got to be here somewhere...'
'Bill,' I hailed one of my co-workers; 'I'll be right back.'
Behind me I heard the UPS driver approach Bill: 'Hey, buddy, d'you know where Checkerz is out here...?'