Hygiene Tips From Sunny Dick #6

As the boys in the room (and some of you more adventurous women) will gladly agree, with an all-knowing nod of the head, there is a very specific and immediately  recognisable odour  inherent to every men's room in the populated centres of the contiguous United States and quite possibly all of North America; the astringent and often-times overwhelming bouquet of naphthalene or industrially-perfumed paradichlorobenzene in the form of what is commonly referred to as the Urinal Puck, the Urinal Mint, or my own personal favourite, the Toilet Lolly.
So when you come a-shopping dowsed in the cloying reek of commercial sanitisers and various eye-wateringly floral ammonium compounds, would it surprise you to know that every man within a fifty foot radius instantly understands that either you spent some quality nocturnal time in the badly-tiled fluorescent grandeur of the WC at the local 24-hour truck stop or you took a five dollar joy ride on a wall mounted American Standard so that you would have enough for your icy cold pint of breakfast. Given the tell-tale crusty glaze around your mouth, I opt for the latter. Or is that misapplied lip gloss? Next time at least steal a bottle of Chanel -- it is the Now & Forever Fragrance...