I'd Like To Buy Another Vowel, Pat

I thought that my former assistant manager was gone, yet still she haunts me; taunts me from afar. This was found taped to the wall under my calendar. I'm not entirely certain who posed the query atop the Post-it Note, however I concur whole-heartedly: What the fuck does this spell?

I cannot, with any reasonable assurance, provide an adequate answer to that question. Suffice it to say that there has, apparently, been quite a problem with these so-called 'Couterit' bills...